contagium vivum fluidum

Where are souls go?

Clean & fresh water come down the river 
it when does stop? 
I think it doesn't, if you turning back, 

only water you will look, endless.

And it started with tiny drop, hard to find.

Living, it's easy to get used to, but not for the last lock eyes.

There is a question that I liked to ask myself, 

before arriving home. 

That question is, are you ready for die?,

 if the answer is no, must do it best.
 

When I see her eyes, I can perceive that illusion of seeing him enter. My mom's eyes. And He will. With love. M 

In memory for my stepfather, 
July 9, 1955 - November 2, 2020.

My room's ghosts

2 Knocks of the closet 

Likes to give you nightmares,

you rarely see her in the day or speaks

but in the night, when all go at sleep 

you will hear toc toc from inside the closet. 

My room's ghosts

1. Who I am?

I

Where are souls from?

Have you ever wondering it?

I was murdered 

I was almost 17 and smart 

and loved nature, of all kinds, 

can almost say of all kinds.

I would introduce myself,

 but I don't remember my name, 

I only have fragments of me,

perhaps was Josephine or Nancy, 

maybe Jessica, I don't know,

 whenever I hear a new name 

I try to remember if it could be mine; 

I think that's what hurts me the most, 

to snatch what I was once named with. 

What makes it seem that you exist

to have a name.

II

I remember well when I met him

I was upstairs with my notebook of flowers,

 I recollected and classified them, 

I liked to their taxonomy

my mom spoke to me, 

ran to the window and opened it, 

and he looking up.

III

He started to come more often,

my parents used to buy him firewood

and the weather it was getting colder and colder.

one day he stayed for dinner, 

they liked, but I couldn't, 

I could feel something inside him, 

something that could absorb me 

if I got too close.

IV

I had a dream, before my birthday came, 

I was in a field full of flowers,

 and there was a sunflower,

 it looked strong and it's petals were so golden, 

I walked towards to it, 

but it seemed that it was moving away, 

it looked smaller and smaller, 

I ran to reach it,

 but it was getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared, 

just before to  touch it, 

from the tall grass came a golden butterfly,

 got on my nose

 and go away.

V

I went to the market on my bicycle, 

when I returned, my home it was burning on,

 I got off my bike and I ran, trying to go inside, 

I had to see my parents,

 but there was nothing else, just a flames.

Then I couldn't breathe and woke up here.

VI

It's hard to talk to someone since then, 

not many can enter, can't see me, 

and long ago I can't see myself.

VII

He used to cut me, I know he killed my parents,

 even if I never asked him, are those things that you know

 and what don't need to confirm.

Since then, the most vivid memory I have, 

is my dream.

Never anyone else called me, 

never more I came back to hear my name,

 I think that, never more I existed again.

VIII

Few have seen me since then, most of times I'm here,

 where they locked me up, and others,

 I achieve to be outside for a short time 

and I see new things, 

things that I don't know how they work, 

I come back and they aren't, 

everything is timeless, 

we're the leaves that fall from the molting of a tree.

IV

I don't remember my death, every time I think it in, 

I feel on a swing, 

in where each time raise further towards up, 

only that I never more came down again.

X

I loved nature, of all kinds, 

can almost say of all kinds.

In memory of all the unknown people, victims of torture and murder.

.

.

.

I saw her in some dreams, I thought they were just dreams until my 10-year-old cousin saw her (2008). 

June

--Don't just loves for loving, you should loving for wanting, you don't just enjoys for enjoy, enjoy for loving.-- The boy ghost

Have you ever felt an encapsulated emotion?

where you also know that it will stay with you always

it's interesting how it can find us something and always stay, as if, simply will it found you

and it will fit on your broken pieces

answering your internal questions, then you know that you should stay there always.

I felt sparkles that night

When we met. M

She

--I considered suicide, but I felt a strange fondness for my body, my life. Scarred as they were, they were mine.-- Charles Bukowski

It almost dawn

runs, sounded it like a sigh

was the only thing thought about

the house lights blinked under the darkness

ran without looking back. M

j ♥

There is something they don't tell us 

about love, because it teaches u. M

gory

Standing in middle of room, 

the bathroom door start to move slightly;

 every time it move more, loud,

 fast, almost slammed but, it stops, 

standing, I just watching it, then, 

a male voice speaks to me, first in my ear, but after, 

that voice comes from the bathroom , 

I walk to the door,

 inside, all is full of blood

in the tub is a body without head,

on the table, I saw his face, 

with a gory fear.

and I woke up. M

Dreams

Some of them, are warnings. M

Here's looking at u

              

              

The first time I saw you, 

I had an epiphany, your eyes,

they followed me, from time- behind, 

when I didn't have this body.

We don't join our hands,

 nor our bodies, just the lips,

then, we run away.

Everything we said, we had already hear say

you know, i'm cursed & you're a fugitive

but for some reason, we're doomed to meet us 

every time and again, until we let's say...

.

.

.

.

I know you. M.